OctPoWriMo: The Blitz Goes On...

Some days are just not creative, other days are fill with struggles. Today I didn't feel creative, between being without a car still and trying to get to work each day has left me feeling a bit depressed and frustrated. I didn't even want to write today, but then I would be a day behind. Honestly, I still am a bit behind, but the drawing challenges I can catch up in no time. It's the writing that I struggle with time and again. If I don't try to write, then I let it slip. Not really a fan of that. It just happens that the poetic form suggestion for today was a Blitz poem, which is quite the sexy poetic form, if I ever saw one. 48 lines of controlled chaos that somehow makes sense.

This month has been filled with prompts for fears and failure and separation, and maybe it's been taking its toll on me, so I decided to write a happy ending for me blitz poem, because F*CK Yeah! :-) It is my blog after all. I am almost not inspired to write a micro fiction for Writober today, but I will likely double up in the coming days. Going to stick with what feels comfortable today, Dear Readers. 

Enjoy!

Day 7: Fear/Separation/Anaphora (Blitz)

 

Fear the Separation

 

Feel it now

Feel it then

Then comes memories

Then the shame

Shame of my behavior

Shame of my words

Words can hurt

Words can divide

Divide and conquer

Divide the souls

Souls connected

Souls alive

Alive is how I feel

Alive with you

You are not here

You and me

Me left alone

Me thinking

Thinking of loss

Thinking now

Now is the time

Now I know

Know What

Know how

How can this be

How can I?

I am sitting here

I don’t know

Know what you do

Know how to

To make you forgive

To make you love

Love what I see

Love the possible

Possible to lose

Possible to leave

Leave me alone

Leave me

Me sitting alone

Me alone

Alone again

Alone nevermore

Nevermore can I imagine

Nevermore will you

You are leaving me?

You are staying here.

Here

Me

And the Writing Continues...

 Day 6 of OctPoWriMo and Writober, and today's prompt is all about imposter syndrome. It is some that I deal with regularly. Feeling like I am not good enough, or why should I even try to do this or that. It makes for some unproductive days.

Imposter’s Waltz (Bop Poem)

 

It doesn’t matter if it is morning or night,

The beckoning call comes from the back of

My head, where the deep thoughts creep.

I just want to silence their singing,

Telling me to stop the battle that I

Am waging with my own two hands.

 

They sing sweetly of my failures,

Let me dance the tarantella of my faults.

I do not know when it started to play,

This melodic hymn of the false.

In this waltz, I try to step right,

Only to have my feet slide to the left, and I

See my mistakes laid out before me,

Accusatory of my attempts at Art.

 

When there is a flash of light, spilling

Into the darkness that this lying, macabre music tells.

I can see a luminated figure standing guard.

The lamplight is so bright, and I can finally see

Where I left my quill and ink, lying in the dust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 (Etheree) Imposter Feels

For a moment it feels so natural,

Talking about the plans to be made,

When you tell me that I am dumb,

Stares blankly back towards your face,

What did I do? I ask.

Laughter, then silence.

You thought you could,

Came the words

From me

Mine.

I

Am the

Imposter.

Having some tea,

Sitting with myself

At a poser gala,

With crumpets and shame at my

Lack of control, thinking I could,

But not knowing better, I still say

That I cannot, I am the imposter.

OctPoWriMo and Writober: Day 5 -Tanka and Pantoum

 Today is uninspiring, but I have something for you, dear Readers. Sometimes I just don't have much to write about, or a lack of words to say. So, please enjoy today's fare...

Prompt: Success/Fear/Euphony (Tanka)

 

Waging Wars

 

After its over

When thinking begins again

Was I good enough?

Am I deserving of this?

Battling my fears again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the Dark (A Pantoum Story)

 

This is not a story that I am telling

I am not writing words to entertain.

I am simply writing words down

As a dark figure whispers in my ear.

 

I am not writing words to entertain,

I am writing words I am told to write.

As a dark figure whispers in my ear

That I only have the night.

 

I am writing words I am told to write

Like my life may depend on it,

That I only have the night

To finish what I am writing.

 

Like my life may depend on it,

Writing words in a certain order.

To finish what I am writing

By this dark figure at my side.

 

Writing words in a certain order--

I am simply writing words down

By this dark figure at my side

This is not a story that I am telling.

October Writing Challenges: OctPoWriMo Edition

It always seems that I try to stay ahead, and thus dooming me to failure (or success) of being perpetually behind. So, I find myself three days behind on my prompts for Inktober, Writober, OctPoWriMo, and the Halloween Photography Challenge. I don't want to dump several pieces for three different days, but I still want to share what I have written. 

This month has brought some personal revelations to light and because of this I need to write it out apparently. So far, a number of these pieces are echoing my own thoughts and emotions. It feels like a therapy session or two, but also, I am trying to write pieces in different style (forms), and really trying to use the prompts given to me.

I will admit that some of the poems this far need a little more work, but I guess that's anything. I am writing and then if I like it, then I can edit it. I guess there is no time like the present.

First up are my writings for OctoPoWriMo: Days 2 thru 4 (Free Verse, Pantoum, and Naani).

Haunting of the Ego

 

What is self?

It is but you

                And all you possess,

Including glost-

Haunting my memory banks,

                Making me squirm

                With the reminder

                Of what I did before.

And I am….

                Embarrassed,

                Though time has long since passed.

 

Brush away,

Brush away,

Brush

Away

With the motion, so habitual,

But like flies swarming.

I shudder.

And still, I shudder

At the memories,

And the embarrassment,

Haunted by my ego ghost.

Shame

I can remember being a child

(trying not to be clique here)

When it didn’t matter what I did,

Because I didn’t know shame then.

 

Trying not to be clique here,

But shame is something that is taught,

Because I didn’t know shame then,

I have learned it now.

 

But shame is something that is taught,

Covering you like a blanket.

I have learned it now

Just how comfortable shame is.

 

Covering you like a blanket.

When it didn’t matter what you did.

Just how comfortable shame is

I can remember being a child.

Orchestral Fears

 

When fears speak

The noise grows louder.

And nothing can break

The cacophonous symphony.

OctPoWriMo end of Halloween Poems

I have been keeping up with my poetry entries for OctPoWriMo, just not as good as posting lately. I really tried to follow the daily prompts, usually writing something loosely around the theme of the prompt, but using the poetic form suggested. There were a few that were either a bit to hard on a particular day, or the prompt was a bit different than I planned for. This usually meant that I wrote a haiku about the prompt for the day. Haiku is and probably always my go to poetic form, that and pantoums.

Here are days 30, 31, 29,and 28.

Thank you to Maria Berg for keeping OctPoWriMo alive.

OctPoWriMo Days #2 and 3

Talking the theme of fears for this month, works really well, as I have had a full year of fears, tears, anger, and the like. It is turning into a bit of therapy as I dive in. I am doing some of these prompts out of order, as I don't always feel inspired when the Pantoym prompt came out. I love pantoums though. Their ability to tell a story within the confines of the prom is natural for me. also, I also, love haiku. Haiku are super easy to write.

Today's fare is haiku for day 2 and pantoum for day 3. The pantoum is based on a lot of what I have been feeling lately, and it's been very therapeutic to write it.

Haiku:

Pantoum:

Battle Fears

Feel the sharp pain,

A reminder of mistakes--

Don't want to remember,

Like a bad dream.

A reminder of mistakes

Could it happen again?

Like a bad dream,

Turning up in my head.

Could it happen again?

A whirlwind of images, 

Turning up in my head

And I cannot sleep.

A whirlwind of images

And I am now dizzy

And I cannot sleep

As the tears shower my face.

And I ask now dizzy,

Don't want to remember

As the tears shower my face.

Feel the sharp pain.

10/3/2023

~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, time for Inktober/Artsnacks prompt, path and books. I had fun drawing this one and colouring it in too.

October is Art Challenge Month

Day number One: Spooky

This is Spooky! She is a cat. She is quite photogenic too. While I am not a good photographer, I thought I would try a photo challenge this year. The one I found has "Spooky" as a prompt for today. It seems fitting, doesn't it.

Now on to the poetry...

OctPoWriMo: Fears (Day #1)

Written at the end of September, because I realized that October is the month of art challenges; and I wanted to get a jump on them. I cannot locate this year's OctPoWriMo, but have found a fellow writer who is posted and sharing their artistic endeavours. So, I will post all of them from poetry to illustration, and maybe a little in between.

Today's date is inspired by Maya Angelou. While not quite of the same caliber, it certainly feels the moment. 

Repeating Nightmares

There are many times,

Of things I have tried

That I could repeat.

Chosen to quickly

Not chosen fast enough,

That I could repeat.

Treated people wrongly,

Bullied or badgered.

Maybe, I could repeat.

I wish to try again

And only do I know

If I could repeat.

I do not want to try again

Only to know I have failed,

They I did repeat the mistakes.

Less likely to try again,

Afraid of what might begin

The future repeat mistakes.

Yet, if I don't know, or try

How will I escape the repeat fields

That I dread to repeat.

I fell in love again

Build a life again,

But this time I try a different step

To avoid repeated mistakes, again.

8:15pm 9/30/2023

OctPoWriMo: Day 31 (Late and a Little Something...)

OctPoWriMo Prompt: Light, Dark

Battle Ground

Lost  in a fog,

deep in a dark tunnel

with nothing to see by.

Cannot see,

cannot feel

there is nothing around me.

I should walk forward,

but I cannot tell if there is ground 

underneath my feet.

I have to trust 

what I don't see

and I don't even know 

where to step.

OctPoWriMo: Day 30 (Wandering...)

A fitting way to wind down the month. I choice the triquain most randomly; the non-rhyming kind. Still not in a rhyme frame of mind. Ha! I am please with today's poetic adventure. As always, please leave me a comment below, Dear Readers. Thank you for tuning in during OctPoWriMo!

Public Domain Pictures

Prompt: Wild, Weird, Spontaneous / Poetic Form: Triquain

For You;

I wander

along the forgotten paths,

trite enough cliches for poets that

will write the words, that fills the world with memories.

My songs are weird and wild, racing

lines across pages that

grace your sight.

Inspire me

to  be spontaneous

with my wit and whimsy so say I

that I wander with you, adventurous are we.

When I find that peace that I sought by

the forgotten paths with

you by me.

OctPoWriMo: Days 28 & 29 (Journey to Paths Somewhere)

I'm still finding it hard to write daily, but I am not finding in hard to write lately. I even am starting to try some of the forms that I past up on previous days. I don't consider it a failure to write 2 poems in a day, but I definitely prefer to combine said poems into 1 post. I don't like cluttering up my blog feed with more than 1 post. Sometimes it happens, but at least during OctPoWriMo it makes more sense to write poems all in 1 post. So, there...

Anywhooooo, I present Days 28 and 29 with a Fable and a Puente . Enjoy, Dear Readers!

Day 28~~~

Prompt: Journey, Path, Choices / Poetic Form:  Fable

The Road that I Trod

It's the pace that I set,

walking

or running,

but not always upon a 

dusty

road that I trod.

I wander far and wide,

upon asphalt 

and memories,

longing to run away,

but there is something

that clings to me...

There is always something 

or someone that I meet

upon these roads I trod.

Today it was a toad,

just sitting in the dirt. 

And Lo, did I realize that

something...

maybe, I should not be sitting in the dirt.

Upon reflection,

I set upon this road I trod,

bound for home 

and a shower that awaits me.

Day 29~~~

Prompt: Traveling, Wander, Nomadic / Poetic Form: Puente

A Bridged Walk

A walk in the woods

will yield a peace of mind,

as you travel under the canopy of leaves and pine cones,

especially when there are less distractions.

~but oh, there are distractions~

distractions, less of the natural and more of the mental,

that wanders through your grey matter

and your travel those roads

of memory 

and chaos

through a different type of woods.

OctPoWriMo: Day 27 (There is Magic in the Making)

 Prompts: Magic, Holiday, Ancestors, Veil / Poetic Type: Terzanelle

Samhain's Gift

This, at last, is the time

when the veil becomes the thinnest

This, at last, is the time

when those who had turned to dust

gets to return to your door

when  the veil is the thinnest.

This is the lore

that has been lost to the eons

gets to return to your door;

and be gone when the day dawns.

This is the magic of the holiday

that has been lost to the eons.

All you need to pay,

a gift of an apple or two,

this is the magic of the holiday.

With this I will too--

This, at last, is the time,

a gift of an apple or two--

This, at last, is the time.

OctPoWriMo: Day 25 (Chaos in the Making) & Day 26 (Abnormal Making)

I write better when not rushed. I also write better when I let myself go. The Blitz Poem is proof of that. Pretty sure that is what I needed. Well, probably a lot more than just writing, but it is a start and I definitely feel better. I also really enjoy the organic nature of the Blitz; with it starting out doing one thing and becoming something else by the end. I hope you re enjoying my poetic endevours this month, Dear Readers. I was not sure I would make it, or that I would barely make it, but today proved my wrong. I love when I can prove me wrong.

Leave me a comment below; and have a brilliant day!

OctPoWriMo

Day 25-

Prompt: Chaos

In the Making

An authoritative stew,

mixing the ingredients

the workers,

the time,

the energy,

only to have it boil over

or worst, to be burnt.

It is a science

and like some mad scientist

adding and stirring,

making a rules stew.

It can be too salty

or too bland.

I never know how my rules stew will 

turn out,

like now I feel the scorched carrots

and potatoes.

There is no flavour

and I am now starving,

maybe it is time for a

can of Creamed D'Rules

for lunch.

That is hard to swallow.  

Day 26

Prompt: Abnormal / Poetic Form: Blitz Poem

Perceptions (Call me Abbi...)

I don't like

I am not

not like anyone

not fitting into the mold

mold me in your image

mold the clay

clay feels cold

clay is malleable

malleable as anything 

malleable as my soul

soul in youth is considered

soul grown up is set

set in it's way

set down in writing

writing the word down

writing the feelings

feelings are not in control

feeling a real

real in this sense

real to me

Me, I  still feel

Me, I still am

Am I real

Am I here

here is the logic

here I stand

stand against the storm

stand up

up in the rafters

up away for it all

all is for naught

all is what I have left

left alone

left over

over the moon

over it all

all the is left

all that I know

know that maybe...

know that I am wrong

wrong in being

wrong in form

form the words

form the tears

tears in my eyes

tears in my mind

eyes

mind

OctPoWriMo: Day 23 & 24 (Trials and Tribulations)

I defaulted to of state of haiku, which I fall into when I don't feel motivated. When I procrastinate? Sometimes. Haiku is a really easy form for me, not just because it only requires a 5-7-5 syllable structure, but it is easy it pare down my thoughts into said haiku. I could not say this a few years ago, when all the words seems to want to come out, dance across the paper. Now I find that sometimes i like less words, as long as they have a proper meaning to what I want to say.

Today's poetic fare is very of this type of thinking.  Simply, I took the words that most resonated with me and transformed them into lyrical art. Enjoy!

OctPoWriMo

Day 23-

Prompt: Dream

There is a moment

Where dreams become like fog

Incorporeal. 

Day 24-

Prompt: Procrastination

It starts with a lack

Of movement, of desire

To not accomplish.

OctPoWriMo: Day 22

Its the feeling you get when you know there is a surprise waiting for you. It is a strange, surreal feeling of just knowing, without knowing. Today's bring out this feeling. It is something like a birthday, Christmas, and winning the lottery. I hope you enjoy today's poetic delight. I even attempted a synchronicity just for you OctPoWriMo and Dear Readers. It also deviates from the form a little, but I do like it like that sometimes.

Prompt: Intuitive and Surprise / Poetic Form: Synchronicity

Intuita-prise

A treasure hunting party that

You weren't invited to just yet,

Surprise!

There's no invitation sent

To where you are the honoured guest,

yes you!

There isn't a moment not planned,

Though you wouldn't consider that,

There is...

Because a surprise waiting, you

Were ready and prepared for the

surprise.

OctPoWriMo: Day 21 (Tasty?)

 OctPoWriMo

Prompt:  Explosive, Taste / Poetic Form: Synchronicity

Dare to Taste

Take a small dollop,

Scoop it up.

Be ready...

Explosive taste 

as slides down,

the creamy and the sacred.

It is everything you imagine?

Beware, because

maybe it is slimy?

No taste?

Just a runny mess and

more of a nightmare.

Culinary adventures abound.

OctPoWriMo: Day 20

Prompts: Soft, Plush, Hard, Course / Poetic Form: Haiku

Softcore Irony

What you see lying

In the biggest pile of plushie--

the last course stuffie.

OctPoWriMo: Day 19

 I am having keyboard issues tonight. It is a good thing that I have a touch screen keyboard as well as a regular one. Although this does make things harder. Oh well, that is what adaptability is for, right?

I'm not feeling adaptable today. I don't even feel like I have the words to say anything, let alone poetry. I am still going to try, stubborn though I am. I wanted to write a synchronicity, but I just don't even know. Looking at today's prompt about being in the present, I don't want to be in the present. The present is less appealing then I would like.

My thoughts are filled with a dark and stale air today. I feel overwhelmed. Not sure what was going to happen next. Now it is the evening and I should be winding down, but all that I can focus on are these dark thoughts. I wish I could just scoop out the dark thoughts, the negative, but they just seem to want to stick to me. 

I don't like using OctPoWriMo for venting, but maybe this is the key to writing today's poem.

Prompt: Stale, Dark, Fog, Blind / Poetic Form: Free Verse

Foggy Visions

Cannot see far,

fog bank has rolled in.

So much easier

When you don't have to see anything

and there is less danger,

less fear

in being blind to the present,

only comfort--

knowing there is nothing else around.

OctPoWriMo: Day18

I am having a hard time lately. It not just 2020 is a bad year, it's that I am having a hard time. This prompt resonates with me so much. When I need to unwind after work, had a terrible day, or if I am sad I turn towards meditation. Getting into a state of detachment, that's what I like. I can get there by listening to music, but meditation is the best way.

The act of letting go, relaxing, or process requires a few things for me: breathing and something to channel the energy. I am not  sure where I am going with this, but writing can be a type of meditation. Today it is appropriate that the prompt focusing on relaxing. It is getting me a chance to unwind and focus. Also there is breathing.

Prompt: Breathe and Process / Poetic Form: Diatelle

The Process 

Breath

Breathing

I can breath,

don't ask me to

stop, I cannot even...

Breath goes in, that is all I can 

feel right now, breathing in and breathing out.

There is only me and my intake of air and

the moment where there is no breath moving.

Continuing inward and then what?

The next step I suppose,

outwards rushing,

cold then warm,

Breathing

Breath

I did not rhyme in this form. My heart has not been in it, but I wanted to try something new and be hindered by rhyme, which has eluded me since OctPoWriMo started. I am pleased with the outcome. What do you think, Dear Readers? Leave me a comment below...

OctPoWriMo: Day 17 (Wild Rhythm/Natural Rhythm)

OctPoWriMo 2020

 

"...it's been 17 days of words and meter and rhyme. I am not sure of myself. Sometimes I just start talking in rhyme, what's worst is when I start talking in meter. I don't know what else to do. I have started counting syllable, like my life is a walking haiku..."

Okay, that part is sometimes true. When your writing become so a part of you that you start living  and/or speaking  it. Not sure how I want  to proceed today. Not really into writing a 26 line poem, but then again, it may go quickly in the development. i do know that I dislike rushing poems, so I guess we will see... 

Prompt: Blood and Bones / Poetic Form: Oddquain

Built Upon

Blood,

heartbeat of

living essence of

the structure of the body

Bones.

As always, leave me a comment...

OctPoWriMo: Day 14

It is time for the truth...in poetic form?!?!? I don't really know, I just enjoy writing poems that have a flowing feeling, like Cascades and Pantoums. Today's poem is a cascade. My favourite part of doing OctPoWriMo is seeing what the presenters offer up for their poetic tributes.

Prompt: Reckoning / Poetic Form: Cascade

'Reckon (It's Time)

It's like waking up

after a long sleep;

seeing the fog clear away

slowing receding past your sight,

exposing the  world--

it's like waking up.

The birth of a new day

when the breeze dries the amniotic dew

slowing receding past your austere sight.

All that is left is 

the afterbirth of your reckoning--

the birth of a new day

birth of your truth

what you see now, instead of

all that is left.