I came up with a few realizations.I don't know how this happened, but suddenly I was like HEY, do you realize?.....and Hoo Boy! Did I realize! The first and the biggest realization was I have only just begun to live. When I started doing theatre (in the smallest sense of the word) with the Market Street Irregulars in 2006, I started to become the Cindy that you know now (if you actually know me). You see, while on the drive I was thinking about the different times in my life: Childhood, High School, College, Post-College/Car Accident, Dallas, Post-Dallas, Theatre Life. The time that I really focused on were the Post-College/Car Accident, Dallas, and Post-Dallas.
After I graduated in 2001, I moved to Corning, NY, after a quick trip to see my parents I ended up in a the hospital for a week and spent 3 month of recovery time following my car accident on Interstate-86, just outside Falconer, NY. I had fractured my ankle in 2 places and cracked/fractured the tail of one of my vertebrae. The irony here was I had just had physical and a gotten a clean bill of health from the doctor. The me from college was a naive, not super world savvy, but ready and itching to leaving her small home town for something bigger. I was headed to Corning, NY, 3 hours away from the hometown I grew up in, Fredonia. I was ready to live and grow up. After the accident, I spent 3 months recuperating. Those 3 months were pretty horrible. I couldn't go anyway and I felt very alone, after all I had just moved to Corning to be with David my then boyfriend. I had very few friends, those I had were mostly through David and no social life. After college, this was really rough on my mental state. I feel that late May 2001 (after graduation) to April 2002 was my lost weekend, something akin to a dream or being encased in a cocoon.
This, I feel was the beginning of the REAL me. See, I think at that time I needed something and I think told myself to get out, find friends, and make a life in Corning. I wasn't going anywhere. Corning was my home now. I couldn't just stay in a cocoon, like I did the last time I lived in here, nor could I run around without a care in the world as I did in Dallas. I had to earn my wings. Although the realization of what I wanted to do with my life had yet to surface. Almost like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon.
They say that to succeed at something/anything you must put in 10,000 hours to reaped any success. Now on the week of my birth (this Friday I turn 34), I have only just started clocking hours for my new plan, to be a writer. I have made a few accomplishments so far, but I still have a LONG ways to go. I am not giving up hope though. I have some great friends from High School, College, Dallas, and long distance friends that have helped to give me support on this trek. My local friends has been wonderful, mostly theatre nerds, Whovians, and book worms. They are the best kind! But also the long distance friends are just as important, those are some of my strongest supporters as well. I also have an awesome Mentor that reminds me that it is totally worth it to go for it. I may have only started living in 2006, but in that time much has happened and surprised me and continuous to surprise me. "This looks familiar, vaguely familiar... There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met. Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay." I do plan to stay and now I have purpose.
I am still clocking hours for my writing. Everyday I try to write something, anything. It might not always happen, but I keep at it. Sometimes I surprise myself with what I write. Other times, it's crap, but as least I wrote something. Right?
"If you want something, nobody can stop you. If you don't want something, nobody can help you." ~James Owen