Here, There be a Writer

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sunday Round-up at the #AROW Corral

Irregular Improv with Jane (in purple)
Today is hard.

Today is the day that I wake up knowing Jane has passed. Yesterday, she had been still alive (at least in my own head). Today is different. Today is harder.

I wrote a tribute in my last AROW80 update back on Wednesday. It was hard. Today is very hard to focus, but I need to push through. It has been harder to focus, because I was so aware that Jane's health was failing her. Yesterday, or rather early this morning I got the news that Jane had passed in her sleep, (at 6 o'clock) Saturday morning. I had managed to stay off the internet all day, not because I knew that her end was going to be happening, but because I had things to do today and I had found my way to pass the impending sadness of the fact that Jane was dying of Cancer. It was a good day. I needed a good day, to affirm that even when the bad days happen, I still have the good to help ease the burden.
Ever the Director

If this had happened a few years ago, I would be all a mess. I wouldn't be able to focus on writing, reading, friends, or lines to study. I would be bawling and a wreck. Today is hard, but today is a day I can stand stronger and prouder. I am just as sad as all others who knew and loved Jane, but I (in my way) am working through the pain and loss.

I had been struggling with my writing for the past week, dealing with my emotions and coming to terms with the thought that it was going to happen and that Jane was a strong woman who had accepted her fate and still kept a smile on through it all. The writing has suffered, I have not done much. Maybe I haven't tried as hard as I should, but what could I do. I can do what I am doing, writing, finding a way to share my feeling and memories of Jane. It's healing is what I am doing. And I am sure Jane would what me to keep writing, reading, and making beautiful things for people to read.

A haiku for Jane

The skies are cloudy
The sun has gone from today
Your love still shine through

Zombie Pirate
I feel that there was a bit of providence, maybe even divine, that kept me from knowing until after my day was long over. I had a sudden jolt of sadness, but a greater sense of peace about her death. It is somehow easier to speak of, and I say this because I know Jane was one of the strongest people I know/knew. It was everything about her that made me love and respect her. And because we, her friends, got to put together a living memorial for her and that she got to see it before she passed. I can feel at least heartened that she knew we loved her. I feel much for Jane's life partner, Cyndi Reagan, who now is grieving and healing. To her, I send my love and support. Jane was truly a special sort and now is the time to remember her for all of the good times. The hurt, loss, and sadness will heal in time. Mourn her, but also love her. Spread love! Make great and beautiful things. And remember to tell those you love that to love them, our time here on earth is short, but as we are alive so we need to live.

Just a few more Memories of Jane that make my heart swell with a sadness, yet joy at having her be my friend. Rest in peace Jane, may Flights of Dragon Sing you to Your Rest!!

Today is hard. But, today is also a fresh start....

Okay, so today I am getting inspiration on my newest short story. It's turning into a Doctor Who based story. I am not one to write fan-fic, but this time it feels right. It's coming off the heels of having watched the 8th Doctor's movie and how there is so little of Paul McGann as the Doctor. He, who is the charming, almost debonaire Victorian gentleman, straight out of a Jane Austen novel.

I am continuing to read "Inheritance", the giant behemoth novel that is is. It often feel like Tolkien when reading, but not as thick as the Grandmaster himself. I can tell Paolini was inspired by Tolkien's works. It's a great series, but reading it is intense.  Hoping I can completed by end of February at least. Most of the battles in Inheritance feel like 'Helm's Deep'.

Also, I am continuing to work on Trinculo's lines and find his character. It's been a nice distraction. Maybe I will record a teaser of me rehearsing my line, for you fellow thespians and Shakespeare lovers. 

Look for a new blog post by Wednesday, Dear Readers!

Jane as a Self-Proclaimed Winkie guard
So, not really the best week, productivity wise, but it's not the end. Sometimes one has to take some time to appreciate their friends and their own lives. I am determined to make today and all other future days each more awesome than the last, not only for Jane, but for me too! Have A GREAT week, Dear Readers. Be good to each other and remember to take time to visit each other, or at least tell your family (whether Theatre, Whovian, Writing, or Relation) that you love them. It'll do you good!

 I love you, Jane!

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to find a sense of peace and that good memories eventually rise up to overwhelm your sadness.

    Good luck with your story and your ROW80 goals. Despite everything, I hope you have a wonderful week.


Leave me a note: