I am beginning to see that there is never a later that I can see in sight.
I am a busy person on most days. Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that I do community theatre. Some years the shows are back to back without an end it sight. Sometimes, I have to push off one thing for another. Lately I have gotten into the habit of saying later, later, LATER!
I have yet to find this later. It either gets done, or it doesn't.
I am a firm believer that the journey is of greater importance in life than the destination. Having a destination (or goal) in mind is fantastic, but there is something pretty magical about the journey. Usually-for me anyway-the destination is exciting for about 15 minutes and then I find myself getting bored (whatever it it at any given moment). Whereas the journey is often more interesting. This does not mean that I am always traveling places, nor does it means that I don't enjoy a destination to its fullest (when I reach it), but I consider that life as a whole is a journey. One to be savoured, treasured, experienced.
Even in the literal sense, a destination often will have journeys within themselves. Think of this. You are going to drive to visit a friend in a city three hours away. There is a journey through the day, before you leave to go to this city. The journey across the miles to this city. The journey throughout the weekend you spend with said friend. Also, the journey back home. Each of this little journeys can be as full as a cross country trek. It depends on your perspective.
Also, consider that if you reach a destination, that means you have come to the end. And endings are sad, right? Well, sometimes they are. If you think that an ending is only the beginning of something else, then it's not really sad. Okay, maybe that's hokey sounding, but it a truth. Another truth (not denying), there are clearly many things that end and are sad. The big one is of course death, loss of something.
There are a million and one types of ends that can make a person sad. But how great it is to rise above the sad?
I have been sad many times in the last decade , and probably will be sad again in the future. I can only see it as a temporal thing. The good feelings always return. In the last two years I have begun to see patterns. I see find a way past the sadness and the even the ever elusive 'later'.
So, what the heck is your point is what you might be asking?
That I have some pretty awesome hobbies that keep me busy, and while I could never give them up completely, I have also found what I want to do with my life. I don't ever want to say later again. I doubt that I can give up that word anytime soon, but I can see how I can travel on my road-any road really-and manage to find time to do the things I want.
Granted, I also have learned that sometimes I need say no, or sometime you have to make yourself get a little less sleep to finish a blog. The pride I feel when I accomplish something is amazing, it outshines the negative. I even can find that I have learned something from a problem or situation.
I haven't written a lot in the last two weeks, what with Tech (Hell) Week for Whorehouse and my 37+ hour a week job. Not everything get done, but I have learned that I can write in the morning before work, if I am determined. I can still read on my lunch break. And, there is always time for Sherlock or Doctor Who. Whorehouse is halfway over by the calendar, but not nearly close to being done in my heart. In a week I go back to 'normal' life. My journey-I start assistant directing "Bus Stop", I start my first themed month on this blog, and I continue to prepare for NaNoWriMo in November. All with the idea that this journey I am on is important and I will accomplish what I set out to do.
My writing is paramount to my life's ambition, as is my love of books. A am a book-a-holic, a bibliophile. I have made a conscious choice to write and never stop writing. I am also a thespian, and the lure of the stage sometimes is too great. I make an oath, here and now, for you lovely readers. I will always make time for writing and reading. I will always write something.
I will take my journeys and my destinations. I will enjoy all, with whatever they give me. Will I have days when I want to say, no, I will do that later? No doubt, but I can prove myself worthy by taking extra time (that I may not always have or time that I will have to make) to write a short blog or read a few chapters, or whatever I need to do.
After all life is a journey!
Photos courtesy of morguefile