Somewhere in the middle of my life I found a pearl and I held it up to the sun. As I stood there with the sun upon my cheek, iridescent skin casting rainbows on my eyelids. When I open them I saw the truth, and while it was bright and burned I couldn't help but feel that maybe the pain of the sun's glare was only temporary. I would see again, thanks to the sun and the pearl.
Feeling very determined. And after a really long ass week of tears and mutually choosing to separate from my husband of 17 years (almost 10 in marriage) I am entering a new world. I don't regret a thing. There will be a separate post on the whole story, because I want to share it. But, Dear Readers, I wanted to tell you that what I lost in a husband has allowed me to keep my best friend. Simply put, we drifted apart. He found another. I was aware, but I turned away. I was wrapped up in other things and projects. I realized I wasn't in love anymore.
I am on day four.
It's NaNoWriMo! And I am not doing it. I don't have it in me. David he told me a lot things in the last four days, the two most important things being that he was proud of me and didn't want me to stop writing to change myself to please him. And he suggested that instead of trying so hard to do the next writing challenge, that maybe I should work on editing my stuff to get it published. That I didn't really edit anything, I just jumped to the next thing.
I am on day four.
I am going through withdrawals. But my best friend is there for me and I for him. He is starting a new journey with someone I trust to make him happy. She is a friend.I am lucky this ending like this. I am looking towards the future with eyes cleared by the rainbow streaks of the sunlight.
I haven't written in four days. Time to start.
I hadn't done much in those four days, mostly cry, ask questions , and try to get through the day. I am eating, thanks to Sara (another friend). I am writing this because while I am healing from the wounds of this split, I am now understand what my mentor has said about life sometimes needing a course correction. Not the real quote, but the sentiment is there.
I missed ROW80 Sunday, barely catching Wednesday's now.
I am on day four.
I want the people that matter to know about this. David and I are okay, getting better I lost a few people in this process. The naysayers neighed I guess. I am not sorry that I made a choice to make David and mines life better. He is happy, why should I take away. I couldn't live with myself if he was miserable. so I look inside myself and saw that I had grown apart and separate from him. He is still my best friend, I look forward to many more adventures with him, but am supporting him in his journey towards his happiness and passion.
I am reading again, making my way through Inkheart (Cornelia Funke). Today I am writing. Day four was filled with my chest and heart feeling tight. After a full rehearsal and countless support from friends, especially David and Sara, I am convinced I will life and am happy for David. A decision made with love is right even when its an ending. Hint: an ending is just a new beginning.
Here's my unfinished entry for Sunday...I think I will revisit my goals. NaNoWriMo can wait. It's time to get my self published. Make my best friend truly proud. Tomorrow is a new day with new chances to make something awesome with your lives. Go for it! I am. David is.
This Week: (What I left off on)
*Reading: making progress on Inkheart (Cornelia Funke), but left my book at work on Friday and couldn't make any progress on that.
*Writing: finished OctPoWriMo (about a 100 words per post), Friday Writing Blitz (300+ words)...
*Theatre Stuff: working on typing bios, finish my scene breakdown for the crew...
*Social Media: 4 blogs daily Weds through Friday.
A Round of Words in 80 Days a blog challenge that knows you have a life. Come and visit the Blog Hop and see what everyone is up to.